99 SEO Problems

In SEO

Yesterday we shared our take on boosting conversions a website; inspired, in part, by the hip hop genius Jay-Z. This led to a moment of search engine optimization tomfoolery that we wanted to share with you. Behold, the first and perhaps only hip-hop song to come from Seafoam Media studios, 99 SEO Problems.

99 SEO Problems

If you are having conversion problems, I feel bad for you a ton.
I got ninety-nine problems but a click ain’t one!

You fell for the trap, shady SEO
Promised the world but your ranking’s still low.
The sites not showing, no one know you’re there
Search engine penalized like it’s just not fair.
Site’s been coded and blogged
Only to see its rankings clogged
Working the algorithm, playin’ games
But SERP rank never match their claims
No follow, no index, non-reciprocal link
Shady plug-ins that just won’t sync.

If you are having conversion problems, I feel bad for you a ton.
I got ninety-nine problems but a click ain’t one!

Black hat SEO tricksters want to stop my flow
They can’t stop me, all I do is grow.
I’ve got trusted hubs giving me mad link love.
Crazy smart code, that’s what I’m made of.
I work it, I own it, SEM’s my game
Getting sites to the top, winning mad acclaim.
SEO is what I do, search engines know my handle
White hat practices only, never a scandal.
I work hard, I play hard, Google loves me a lot
I speak to the humans, I speak to the bots
Want to know who’s winning the SEO game?
Just one thing to say, son, Seafoam’s the name.

If you are having conversion problems, I feel bad for you a ton.
I got ninety-nine problems but a click ain’t one!